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Your kids don't ignore you because they don't respect you. They ignore you because they know what happens next.
Nothing. This book changes that.
What you'll find out
- Why your kids listen to their mom and their teacher the first time, and to you on the fifth
- Why getting stricter, taking their stuff and going soft all made it worse
- The One Ask: five parts, about ten seconds, and the exact words to use
- What to do in the five seconds after you say it, so you never have to say it twice
- Why it gets worse before it gets better, and how to get through the test week without quitting
- Word-for-word scripts for the 12 moments that fight you every day, from shoes to screens to eye rolls
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Instant delivery
The moment you order, it's in your inbox.
No special software. No apps. No waiting. Read Part One on your phone tonight, after the kids are asleep, and do Day 0 tomorrow.
Ebook
165-page PDF · 26 chapters · cheat sheet · 30-day tracker
Works on everything you already own.
Phone
Laptop or desktop
iPad or tablet
Kindle or e-reader
Not on Amazon. Nothing ships. Order now and it's in your inbox tonight.
26 chapters. Five parts. No fluff.
Written for dads. Not for moms, not for therapists.
Part One
Why They Don't Listen to You
The real reason. It isn't respect, and it isn't that they love their mom more. Kids don't listen to words. They listen to what happens after the words. Why mom and the teacher get heard the first time, and why strict, soft and the blow-up all stopped working.
- 1Kids Listen to What Happens Next
- 2Why Mom and the Teacher Get Listened To
- 3The Only Two Moves You Have
- 4Why the Blow-Up Stops Working Too
- 5Why Strict and Soft Both Failed
- 6It's Not Respect. It's Training.
Part Two
The Say It Once Method
The method. How to say it once so they hear it. The next move, so you never have to say it twice. Then the test week, day by day, so you know what's coming before it comes. And the exact talk that gets your wife on the same moves.
- 7The One Ask
- 8The Next Move
- 9When They Do It
- 10What Never to Do Again
- 11The Test Week
- 12The Test Week, Day by Day
- 13Getting Your Wife on the Same Moves
Part Three
The 12 Moments
The moments that fight you every day. For each one: the one ask, the next move, what to do when they test you, what not to do, and one dad who got through it.
- 14Leaving the House and Coming When Called
- 15Screens Off and Bedtime
- 16Homework and Chores
- 17“Stop That Now” and Sibling Fights
- 18Talking Back and Eye Rolls
- 19“You're Not the Boss of Me” and In Public
Part Four
Ages and Hard Cases
A 7-year-old and a 12-year-old need different moves. The honest chapters too: if you've been the yeller, if you work long hours, and what to check when it's not working.
- 20Ages 6 to 9
- 21Ages 10 to 14
- 22If You've Been the Yeller
- 23When You Work Long Hours
- 24When It's Not Working
Part Five
After
What the house feels like after. The questions dads ask, answered plainly. Then the 12 Moments Cheat Sheet and the 30-Day Tracker, one page each.
- 25The House After
- 26Questions Dads Ask
From the opening chapter
"Why are you yelling?"
James had said "Shoes on" five times. The sixth time he yelled. His son cried. His daughter put down her phone and asked him that, like he was the problem in the room. Then his wife came down the stairs, said "Shoes on, guys. Car." once, in a normal voice, and both kids got up. She was holding the shoes. It took him a long time to notice that. It turned out to be the whole thing.
The first week
It gets worse before it gets better. Here's the week.
When you stop repeating yourself, your kids push to see if you mean it. That's the week most dads quit. The book walks you through it one day at a time, so you know what's coming before it comes.
Day 0
Before you start
Pick your first three moments. Write the ask and the next move on a card. Have the talk with your wife. Tell the kids once, in one sentence. Then stop talking about it.
Day 1
They don't believe it
You say it once and do the next move. Expect a meltdown and a late morning. That's not the method failing. That's day one.
Days 2 and 3
It gets worse
“Why are you being so weird?” They push harder to see if the old Dad comes back. Day 3 is the day most dads quit. Chapter 11 explains why, and how not to.
Days 4 and 5
The first wins
The first one-ask yes. One pair of shoes. One screen off without a fight. Then the look: they glance at you after you speak, checking what comes next.
Days 6 and 7
The last big test
Mornings get calmer. Then, often, one last big test out of nowhere. It feels like Day 2. It isn't. Hold, then five minutes with the tracker.
Your kids might be a day early or a day late. The order is what matters. After the test week, the 30-day plan adds three more moments a week, and the tracker at the back is one page. You tick four boxes a night.
Run the test week. If it doesn't help, I send your money back.
Read it. Run the test week and the 30 days. If after that you feel it hasn't helped, you have another 30 days to reach out, and I'll refund every penny. No forms. No hassle. Just contact us between day 30 and day 60.
Haven't downloaded yet and it's not right for you? Contact us within 30 days for a full refund, no questions asked.
Common questions
Things dads ask before they order.
Everyone tells you to be consistent. Nobody tells you what to be consistent with. That's what the book is. The exact ask, the exact next move, written out for 12 moments and two age groups.
And it covers the part nobody warns you about. When you change, it gets worse for a few days before it gets better. Most dads quit on day 3 because they think it's not working. Chapter 11 explains why that's the sign it is.
No. Chapter 5 explains why getting stricter made it worse. The next moves in this book are small and calm. For younger kids, you help it happen. For older kids, it's 15 minutes. No yelling, no taking everything away, no grounding for a month.
Yes. It's written for kids from 6 to 14. Chapter 20 is ages 6 to 9. Chapter 21 is ages 10 to 14. Every one of the 12 moments has the words for each age, and Day 0 tells you what to say when you have one of each.
No. Chapter 13 is a word-for-word script for one calm talk with her, no kids around. Most wives are already doing a version of this without knowing it, which is why they listen to her.
No. Chapter 22 is for you. The yell was doing a job: saying “now I mean it.” Chapter 22 gives that job to something calmer, so you can quit for good. It also has the exact words to repair after you yell.
Chapter 23 is for dads who get home after dinner, work shifts or travel. You don't need more hours with them. You need your words to hold in the hours you have.
Run the test week first. If after 30 days you feel it hasn't helped, you have another 30 days (so days 30 to 60 from purchase) to reach out for a full refund. No forms, no hassle.
If you haven't downloaded the file and decide it's not right for you, contact us within 30 days and we'll refund you immediately, no questions asked.
Every time you say it again, they learn the first four don't count.
It doesn't fix itself by waiting. Every morning you repeat yourself, they learn it one more time. It changes the first morning you say it once and do the next move. You're the one reading this.
Read Part One tonight. Do Day 0 tomorrow. The book is in your inbox in about a minute.